| Beautiful: Part 2 | Post by: The next week I stayed home from school and my mother stayed home from work. The whole time neither of us spoke of my father. It was like out home was dead. No one lived there anymore. When the next week started I got out of bed, my eyes swollen from crying and lack of sleep. I dressed slowly and walked into the bathroom. I brushed my hair until it reached perfection and stared at myself in the mirror. I used some make-up to hide my tired eyes. I trudged down the stairs and ate a bowl of cereal. I dreaded seeing everyone today, most of all that Jillian girl. I walked to school; for once it felt like a short walk. I walked into the building to find girls running up to me asking why I was gone the whole week. I plainly explained to the girls that my father had died and I received many hugs and shoulders for crying. I help back my tears and walked into my first class. I smiled weakly to Rob and took my seat. Mr. Wright looked at me and smiled. I could tell that he already knew what had happened. Rob kept looking my way but my eyes were glued to my table. After class he stopped me and said, “Why were you gone all last week? I missed you.” His smile had no effect on me today. “I was… Sick,” I lied. I needed no pity from him. I smiled and left the room quickly and walked to my next class. At lunch I sat with all the girls who continued to comfort me and offer me low fat sandwiches. I looked over to the table where Jillian had sat last week and there she sat, with another apple. Her perfect nails supporting and rotating the apple. I breathed in deeply and walked over to her before the bell. This time I looked her right in the eyes. “Hey,” I said. I had no reason to pity this girl who hated me so much. I looked her right in the eyes feeling brave for one small moment until she returned my stare. Hers was more… Intimidating. “Hi,” she said. An emotionless stare on her face, I felt like running away. “Look I know you hate me but…” I couldn’t finish because she looked at me with an anger that frightened me. “Really,” she said. It wasn’t even a question! She just stood and walked right by me, her face disgusted and angry. I walked to my next class and sat. I waited ten minutes before the bell actually rang for the period to start. I looked around and listened to what we were learning. Of course, I had no idea what was going on since I had been absent. But, I did the best I could and jotted down notes. After the class I went to my teacher and picked up my missed lessons. The test was only three days away and I knew nothing about the topic we were studying. I walked to the gym without leaving a note for my mother. I jogged on the treadmill without thinking. It felt good to not have to think. I just ran. After an hour I finally got off. I was really sweaty, and I knew that my body had had enough, but I went to the basketball courts and shot hoops. When I finally had too much I walked home. I walked into the house and looked at my mom. I knew she was worried but she just sighed and went back to watching TV. Later that night we ate dinner in silence. I hardly touched my food. Life would never be the same for our family. It was all so… Empty. The next day I slide out of bed unwillingly. I was at the point of accepting my fathers death, I would have to move on eventually, even if my mother refused. I walked downstairs and smiled to my mom. She smiled back but weakly. I ate some cereal dry and headed out for school. I somehow felt better now, knowing the pain was slowly dying. I walked in the door and smiled to all I passed. I went into my class and ran my hand across Robs shoulder as I passed. I sat without looking back at him. I smiled to myself. I looked to Mr. Wright and waited for his lecture to begin. At lunch I winked at all the girls as I passed and sat down right next to that girl Jillian. I smiled in a mocking way to her as I sat. She just looked at me, in a way of shock and amusement. She just stared while I chattered away about ALL of my classes. My goal was to annoy her and I think it was working. But then… I made a HUGE mistake, I started talking about Rob. She looked at me in a different way when I spoke of him. Her eyes became intent and seemed to crave more as I spoke of how amazing he was and how kind and loving he could be. I saw her cringe at the word loving, so I used it as many times in a sentence as I could. I know, cruel. But this girl hadn’t been very kind to me in the past. Every time I said it her eyes filled with more and more of a mixture of anger and sadness. Eventually she stood and walked away. For the first time I noticed the apple she had left. It was punctured from her nails. I could tell that I had really made her unhappy. I walked back to my table and sat. 04/26/2009 |
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